coconuts and citrus
by don't sweat the small stuff
Summary: "Uh – um, yeah, I know, but I'm – reason is – I'm probably hot because your, um…" I trail off, gesturing to my chest, "Your shirt is kind of… like, um, boobs – I mean I CAN SEE YOUR BREASTS. I – uh – uh, your bra. I mean." RIN/LEN FLUFFY STUPID TIME-WASTING ONESHOT. all the poop you can get.


Friday nights are usually Pizza Nights.

Or that's what Rin tells me. At approximately 8PM, she marches up to our house and rings the doorbell and when I answer it, she nearly kills me with _at least_ seven boxes of pizza.

Then she shouts at the top of her lungs, "Happy Pizza Night!" and barges into my house, nearly bowling me over and giving me a fractured arm or something, and sprawls herself all ladylike across the couch in the living room and stuffs her face with pizza. Yes, this is Rin every day. She's my friend. We've been friends for… _too_ long.

It has also come to my mind that my hormones _do_ exist and want me to think otherwise. Several times I have looked at Rin and have had the Unmentionable Thoughts That Should Never Be Thought About A Friend come to my head. It's horrible. I don't – I just – I don't want to _think_ of Rin in _that way_ – we've been friends for years, and me suddenly wanting a relationship with her is just… No. Not going to happen. Friendship is better than having a girlfriend. Even if I have to inwardly restrain myself from patting her head when she gets too adorable by smacking my face into a desk top. I can't admit to the fact I want something more.

And urggggggghhhhhhhhhh… if only she wore more clothes and things. It would make my job much easier. Do you think it's fun when the only attractive girl whom comes within five metres of you wears the shortest shorts the universe could possibly harvest and the tightest tank tops to have ever existed? Uh, _no_. It just makes me want to touch her _mo_re. And stroke her legs _mo_re. AND STROKING PEOPLE'S LEGS IS NOT A CUSTOM, BECAUSE IT IS TECHNICALLY AND LEGALLY SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. Or abuse. I just – _ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_.

So yes, it's a Friday night – Pizza Night – and Rin is on my couch in her short-shorts, gorging herself with the delight of pizza. It's hard to believe she can maintain her weight with the amount of _food_ she eats. Like, she eats _every_thing. She even eats three-week-old _pasta_ that is possibly growing invisible mould molecules that could give you a serious case of the stomach buggies for a month. I don't understand. I've never seen her waste _any_thing.

I still can't even grasp the fact that this girl – _woman_ – THING – gets like, straight-A+ report cards 24/7. I mean – _how?_ I can't even pass Maths. And apparently I 'need' to pass Maths to become a scientist. BUT I LIKE SCIENCE. I JUST DISLIKE HAVING TO WORK OUT THE AREA OF A TRIANGLE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON AND THEN MULTIPLY IT BY THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF A CIRCLE AND THEN DIVIDE IT BY PI BECAUSE NO. NO I DO NOT. NO. WILL I BE SAVING CHILDREN FROM WORLD HUNGER DOING THIS? Um, CLEARLY _NOT_. WILL I BE WORKING OUT A CURE FOR CANCER? NOPE. AM I DISCOVERING NEW PLANETS WITH POSSIBILITIES OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE ON THEM?

(The answer's still no. It's always no.)

Exactly. Life can be so frustrating at times.

Anyway, Rin is just eating _all_ the pizza and I'm sitting on the other couch across from her, staring at my piece on the plate. I mean, I'm hungry. But I'm just not as hungry when she spreads her legs like she's about to take off to infinity and beyond – I mean, MALE HERE. _HORMONES!_ RAGING TESTOSTERONE! Is she not aware of that? I mean, she passes science with a breeze – surely she should know the basics of biology or whatever-blah. Like, she doesn't even blink when the question is all like, HOW FAR IS THE SUN FROM THE EARTH IF YOU WERE TO PLACE THE EARTH 2/3 CLOSER TO THE SUN?

She just _knows_. Maybe she is a reincarnation of some genius. Darn, I wish I had those brains.

Rin notices my absence of celebration for Pizza Night and closes her legs – goddamn _finally_ – and looks at me, concerned. "What's the matter, Leonardo?"

Leonardo. She calls me _Leonardo_. I have no idea where that name came from.

I clear my throat all awkwardly and grab my pizza. "Nothing. What are we watching?"

Rin sighs, sitting up to grab another piece of pizza – that makes it _five_, now. She usually gets to eight. I don't know how she manages to _eat_ all of it – I just – HOW IS IT POSSIBLE? "I don't know – some _Indiana Jones_ movie?" she suggests, before the scene on the television switches to a near-pornographic part. She starts to choke from shock – or possibly laughter, either one. "Okay, maybe not."

I awkwardly look at my pizza. "Okay," I say slowly.

"You seem down," Rin remarks after while of long, contemplative silence – okay, not entire silence, considering the TV is all like _OHH OHHHHHH UGHHHH AGHHH UWUAHUAU CHDHFDHJKFDSHKLS CATS MEOW ROCKET SHIP_ in the background. Like, doesn't Rin feel awkward listening to these sounds? I sure do. I mean, I _seriously_ – _oh_ – um, yeah, I should change the channel anyway, because… um… stuff. "What's wrong?" she presses.

I reach over to grab the remote from the table in front of us. "Nothing?" My voice hitches at the end of the word suspiciously, so it comes out more as a question, like, _why are you asking me this? _Or like, _why are you so concerned?_ But I pretend it was normal and that the question-thing was totally not my vocal cords having their regular epileptic rage in my throat, all while flicking through the channels _casually_. Hence the word _casually_.

"Nothing?" she says, "_Nothing?_ Len, please tell me what's wrong. You're ruining the cheerful atmosphere with your downer like attitude. Is it a girl?" Rin looks over at me curiously, a smirk on her face, tapping her chin.

I laugh. Well, it's in between a laugh and a snort. So it comes out like a, _pfffffffnkkkt _sound instead. "Uh, no." If it was a girl – okay, so it _is_ a girl but I'm lying because it's about the girl who is currently questioning my mood and that would be – yes, no, nope, no, not happening.

"A boy?"

"A _boy? _Why a boy?" I give her a funny look.

She shrugs. "I dunno. You could be gay. And frustrated because you're gay. Because… I dunno, you're religious or your parents are religious or something." Rin raises one eyebrow, still smiling.

"Well, it's a no. I'm not gay," I respond, but then I'm just like, _what happens if I am?_ And I'm like, _No, Len, if you were gay, you would be getting horny over someone like Kaito and not Rin. And you probably would have a fashion sense. But you don't._ I have no idea why my conscience sounds like Rin's voice, but okay.

Rin pouts and spreads her legs once again. Okay, so, um, I cannot, um, yeah, this isn't good so I should probably look at my feet – _okay_. I discreetly grab the pillow and place it on my lap. Thank God it's kind of dark.

Ha, yes, it's _alive_. The serpent. Is _alive_- **Unicorn nipples.** I just like to hug pillows to my crotch because um, it's… warm and comfortable (despite it being at least a million degrees something and my literal hair follicles are _sweating_ – like, is that even possible? Well if my hair follicles are seriously sweating, then… yes. Yes it is) and I am extremely conscious of… the theoretical tomato stain on my pants BECAUSE I AM A MALE, AND I DO NOT HAVE PERIODS. Okay, thank you, and goodbye.

I mean goodnight.

But whatever. Okay – I'll be honest… _Yes_, almost thirty seconds later – but yes, male hormones. Male hormones. That is all.

JESUS CHRIST SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS BLIND LIKE LITERALLY I JUST I CANNOT.

UGH.

"Len?" Rin's voice wafts in and out of my internal panicking. I mean – I'm not _panicking_, like, how could I be panicking? I am a coolbean, sir. I am coolbeans. Coolies. Chillax. Yeah. "Leonardo? Are you listening? LEN? _LEN?_"

I look up to her _face_, not any place else because that would be just rude. "Um, y-yes?" I squeak, feeling my face heat up.

"Are you like, 100% you're sure you're okay? Because you looked like you were going to throw up or something five seconds ago," she tells me, shooting me a concerned look.

"Um – I – I – no, I'm fine, I just – yeah. Momentarily felt cancerous – but I'm okay now. So don't worry. Seriously. I'm fine," I splutter, waving my hands about frantically, like to gesture, _hey look my hands are waving about frantically SO IT MEANS I'M FINE BECAUSE YEAH. (I'm having a really hard time convincing this person.)_

"'Momentarily felt cancerous'?" Rin quotes anxiously, "What? Where? Why?" She starts to move off the couch towards me and my brain is like _OH NO NO NO NO NO_ _DO NOT LET HER NEAR YOU LEN. SHE IS LIKE, NO. NO. NO YOU DO NOT WANT THIS, YOU DO NOT WANT ANYTHING. YOU ARE FINE. ABSOLUTELY FINE. AMEN._

"Um – it was nothing. Don't worry. I'm okay." I swallow apprehensively and try to gesture to her again that everything is awesomely okay, but she still walks in front of me, leans over and presses her godforsaken hand against my forehead. And the first thing I notice is – well, breasts. Breasts.

_Oh_.

It's a loose tank top, tonight, much unfortunately. And she is wearing a bra. A nice one. But I… brain, um, don't – STOP LOOKING AT HER CHEST FREAKING ARGH FEMALES HAVE A SIXTH SENSE WHEN THEY KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING AT THEM SO DON'T. _DON'T._

I quickly avert my gaze to the left, feeling my face heat up into a million flames of death and Hell and the sun and the universe and I'm just like, holy Jesus, why am I still alive and breathing? My temperature surely must exceed the healthy bodily temperature. Then again, I don't have such luck to suddenly die in Rin's arms or anything.

"_Whoa_," Rin says, her voice loud and clear and slightly startling to my thoughts. "You're like, super-hot."

I can't really form comprehendible words for the moment, so I just choke out a, "Thank you."

Rin pulls away and snorts – but she's still leaning over flaunting her boobs and all. "I mean, temperature-wise, you loser."

Then she adds hastily, "I mean, not saying you're ugly, because you're not. I just – I mean temperature. Yeah." Rin fidgets nervously with her hands and kind of stays there for a bit, still flashing me and all, and it falls into this awkward silence, and I have a feeling I'm supposed to _do_ something but I'm not exactly sure.

"Uh – um, yeah, I know, but I'm – reason is – I'm probably hot because your, um…" I trail off, gesturing to my chest, "Your shirt is kind of… like, um, _boobs_ – I mean I CAN SEE YOUR BREASTS. I – uh – uh, your bra. I mean."

Then Rin stands upright and goes all kind of like, "Oh."

"I'm sorry. I mean, it's not that I'm looking at your boobs or anything but they were kind of like eyelevel when you bent over and um… yeah. I… yeah." I feel really bad for some reason, so I quickly mumble without thinking, "Not saying your boobs are ugly or anything."

Rin then collapses to the ground laughing. At first, I thought she was crying because her laughter sounds near-close to her sob-weep-sort-of-things. Yeah, but she's clearly laughing, because she looks up at me grinning and she shakes her head, wiping her eyes. "Oh God. Oh God, Len, oh God," she keeps saying in between giggles. "Why don't you have a girlfriend? You're hilarious."

I don't get what's so funny, so I just smile uneasily and say, "Uh, because… I… the girl I like… is um…"

"Taken?" Rin interjects.

"No – I just, I can't see myself dating her?" I mutter.

Rin suddenly becomes interested and props both arms across my knees, just before the pillow. I um – she – um, yeah… I feel like saying, _Rin, those are my legs_, but I just don't want to make her feel any more awkward or anything. "Why's that? Is she amazing? A super model or something?"

"No," I reply. "I mean, she's amazing – but I just – I can't _date_ her, it's just… she… I don't…"

I don't really notice Rin's strange behaviour until I look up from the pillow I'm hugging and into Rin's eyes to notice she's suddenly getting closer to my face.

At first I'm like, _hey, wow, Rin has beautiful eyes._ And then I'm like, _wait, you already knew that, you dumbass._ And then I'm like, _since when did I have magnified vision?_

And then I realised she's slowly leaning into my face and I'm all like, _WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT._

_WHAT. WHAT._

_WHAT?_

_WHAT._

_IS._

_THIS?_

_I._

_SHIT._

_WHAT._

And before I can realise anything else, Rin's lips are against mine, all soft and pizza-flavoured. And I realise how unromantic that just sounded – but yes, her lips move up all gently against mine, and I can smell the sweet coconut scent of her shampoo, and the citrus-deodorant and dry-cleaned smell of her clothes fill my nostrils. And she's gentle, but she does it with force, with urgency – I can feel her rising more from the ground and pushing me back against the couch, her fingers brushing up against my arms and cheeks and hair, and her legs sliding over my waist as she sinks down onto the pillow and my thighs. And I no longer care about my freaking hormones because right now making out with Rin is just a _very_ fantastic idea.

I find myself drunk on her sweet, coconut-y and citrusy smell – every part of her very appetising and relaxing and highly pleasurable as she presses against me and knots her fingers into my hair and straddles my hips. Eventually, she pulls her lips away and sinks back down against my legs, to study my face. Her hands rest flat against on either side of my chest, her fingers curled under, into my shirt slightly.

"Sorry," Rin says finally, once she catches her breath.

"What?" I burble, still a little dazed from the kiss. Like, wow. Like, wow on all levels of wow. That was awesome. Like, it was better than how Kaito described his first kiss with Miku. I think I just died and went to heaven on the inside.

Rin looks down at her hands on my chest. "I just – while you were speaking, I um… just looked at you and thought how amazingly incredibly attractive you look. And then I just had this really weird urge to kiss you. And I didn't realise how random and pointless and rude of me it is to just suddenly start eating your face while you're in the middle of telling me about the girl you like." Her voice comes out all small and unlike Rin, like she's scared or upset or something.

"It wasn't pointless and rude of you," I state, frowning. She tilts her head up slightly to glance back into my eyes. "It was maybe a little startling, but not pointless or rude."

Rin bites her bottom lip. "But you like – a _girl_ -"

"I like _you_," I admit honestly. She stares at me in disbelief like I just told her I'm getting a sex change.

"What?" she asks.

"I said I like _you_. That's who I was talking about. You." I still feel nervous admitting to this despite just kissing Rin like there was no freaking tomorrow, because I'm not even sure if her kissing me and all has anything to do with her liking me in that way. What happens if she doesn't? God, it'll be so awkward.

Rin gazes at me, her expression softening slightly. "Oh," she whispers. "Oh, Len." The corners of her lips twitch, curving up into a small smile. I don't know whether this is a good thing or not.

Then she leans in again and presses her lips to mine, for two seconds or something, before she pulls away to look at me again.

"Um," I say.

Rin sits there staring at me for a few moments, like _she's_ expecting me to be all like, _soooo want to go get married or something?_ Or – _actually, nope, changed my mind. I don't like you anymore_. But then she makes this, "Oh," sound and goes, "Right – I mean, I like you too, Len. I have, like, since forever. I mean, since you pretty much threw up on my converses last summer."

I blink. "Is that reference supposed to be romantic or something?"

She shrugs. "I dunno. But you still do owe me new converses."

"I can't afford converses, though," I reason. "I can't help it my stomach had the idea to come up through my mouth. It just has other ideas. Romantic, girl-attracting ideas – like making you fall in love with me."

Rin chuckles, wraps her arms around my neck and leans into my face. "Well, you're going to have to owe me some way or another," she says, and we kiss again.

God, Rin is so freaking sexy.

* * *

_all of a sudden, A RUSH OF USELESS INSPIRATION AWESOMENESS TO WRITE SHIT-GLORY ONESHOTS AND NOT ACTUALLY UPDATE THE SECOND CHAPTER OF THE OTHER STORY THAT NEEDS TO BE UPDATED BECAUSE FALAFEL. like what is this. wow. so. um. I'm sorry. why am I such an awful person? cries._

_well anyway enjoy a non-incest related horribly written oneshot, kids? /throws rose petals and confetti on you._

_PLS REVIE- lolnope. __this story must be awful so... I have put a shitty summary to suit it. k :)_


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